I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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