Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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