I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize