they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
