ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
