Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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