And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
