Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
