Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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