TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
