then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize