Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Me too!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize