If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
