Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
