he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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