Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.