You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long