The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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