You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
