How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
