So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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