This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
