I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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