Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize