It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well you can't waste a boner
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize