You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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