there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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