i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
