Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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