bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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