the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
