Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
