he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize