Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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