what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
