The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
