Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
