Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
