Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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