PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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