OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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