I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
