have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize