I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
