I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
