Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize