I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
