This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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