there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
jump out the window naked night went bad
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
