The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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