I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i drank out of a bidet.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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