he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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