I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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