and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
