I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
