is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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