so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I came so hard my ears popped.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
