i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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