Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
